Unstable
by Whurmy
Summary: "It's not like it's Selena's fault. And even if it was, Demi would forgive her anyways." Rated T for cutting and serious angst. Alex/Mitchie, Demena.


**Author's Note: I started this at four o'clock in the morning and finished it at two o'clock the next night. Just a little background info. I'm sorry in advance. I had no Beta.**

**I don't even remember what started this one, but I love it. I hope you guys do, too. (: Don't forget to review! My heart sings when I get reviews. (Insert heart here.) Also. I'm wearing an owl ring and pink Tinkerbell pajamas. Why? Because I'm awesome. And it's bed time.**

**I don't own Demi Lovato.**

**I don't own Selena Gomez.**

**I don't own Nick, Joe or Kevin Jonas.**

**I also don't own Mandy, if you're curious.**

**I mean no harm to any of them by posting this fic.**

**Don't you just love how each line was longer than the last?**

**-x-**

Demi hugs herself as the sun gets closer and closer to the houses down the hill from her mom's house. Selena's head is on her shoulder and they're both half asleep. Monday nights are Demi's favorites just because of this moment, after Demi's piano lessons and just before Selena has to be home for dinner. According to Mandy, she's supposed to be home before dark, but she never leaves before the sun sets, so _that_ never happens.

The sky's turning purple and pink and Selena lays her arm across Demi's stomach. Demi smiles and threads her fingers through Selena's. Her stomach flips when Selena squeezes her hand but she ignores it as well as she can, just like she does every other Monday night, because Selena isn't supposed to make her heart pound and her skin tingle.

Demi looks up from their hands and watches as the sun sinks closer to the earth. Sunsets in Texas are one of the most beautiful things she's ever seen, but she really wishes she could just pause the sun where it is right now. She doesn't want Selena to go home.

She's torn between being in awe and being sad when the sun finally goes down and the sky goes blue again. Selena's usually groaning and standing up by now, stretching and complaining that she _really_ doesn't want to go, but Selena doesn't move an inch and Demi doesn't say anything until the stars start to twinkle.

"Selena." Demi whispers quietly, rubbing her thumb along Selena's.

"Demi." She answers back, her lips brushing against the bare skin of Demi's shoulder. Demi tries her best to suppress a shudder, but Selena feels it and chuckles. Demi knows Selena's supposed to be heading home, but she can't convince herself to say anything else.

Selena sits up and gives Demi this look that makes her face heat up and she's thankful it's dark out now.

"What?" She asks, smiling. Selena just smiles back and shakes her head.

"Nothing." They just look at each other for a minute and Demi tries to remember every little detail about right now. The way Selena's hair is barely blowing in the light breeze, how cute she looks when she's half asleep, the small smile on her lips. She wants to remember this moment and lock it away in a safe in her heart so she'll never forget.

"You're beautiful, you know." The words come out before she can stop them, but Selena blushes and grins in this absolutely adorable way that makes Demi feel like there's a thousand butterflies loose in her stomach and she decides that it's worth the embarrassment.

Selena's grin turns into this thoughtful smile and suddenly Demi feels really nervous under Selena's gaze. It doesn't feel like it's just another one of their almost silent conversations anymore and Demi's shuffling closer to Selena until their noses brush together. Selena's eyes flutter shut and Demi's heart is beating so hard in her chest that she's worried Selena's going to _hear_ exactly how Demi feels about her.

She never believed in seeing fireworks just from kissing someone, but that's the best way to describe what happens when their lips touch. Selena tastes like cherry chapstick and Demi's never liked cherry, but it tastes _amazing_ on Selena and she can't get enough. Demi puts her hands on Selena's hips and Selena tangles her fingers in Demi's hair.

After several minutes, Selena's panting breaths and hot tongue are just too much for Demi and she pulls back, licks her lips. Selena's eyes stay closed while she catches her breath.

"Demi." Selena opens her eyes and Demi's stomach drops. Her eyes are red and her voice is shaky and Demi feels like she's been hit by a Mac truck. She clears her throat awkwardly and gets out of Selena's lap, brushing the invisible dust off her jeans when she stands up.

"I-I'm sorry..." Demi's voice fails her and she swallows the lump in her throat. "You should." She coughs so she doesn't cry and shoves her hands in her back pockets, eyes firmly on the floor of the balcony. "You should get home. Your mom's probably called, like, a hundred times." Selena hears the way her voice quivers, but she just stands up and nods.

"Yeah. I'll uh..." Selena pauses and takes a deep breath. "I'll see you at school."

"Yeah." Selena doesn't give her a hug before she leaves.

-X-

Demi walks into school on Thursday with maybe just a little bit too much eyeliner on and wearing bracelets she hasn't worn in years. She catches Selena's eye in the cafeteria, but Demi ignores how her face pales like she's about to throw up and squeezes between Nick and Joe at the lunch like it's the most natural thing in the world.

"Hey guys."

"Hey, Dem." They don't notice anything is different, but Selena's wide eyes are glued to her left arm.

"You guys wanna catch a movie tonight?" The words taste bitter. Friday nights are supposed to be Selena and Demi nights, but Demi would much rather be out with the wrong people than be alone with herself tonight.

They're just about to decide on a movie when Selena gets up and puts a hand on Demi's shoulder. Demi stops mid sentence to look up at her. The look Selena's giving her makes her head hurt and stomach spin. She swallows and tells Nick that she'll be right back and follows Selena to the upstairs bathroom at other end of the building without saying a word.

The door slams shut behind them after Selena pulls the wedge out from under it. She locks the door and walks up to Demi like she's going to tackle her, but stops just in front of her and waits patiently for Demi to give her the arm covered in bracelets. Demi swallows hard and reluctantly looks into Selena's eyes. She doesn't want to do this. She didn't plan on this happening. She kind of knew it was going to, but she was really hoping it didn't. But not doing this would mean that they're actually _fighting_, and that would be so much worse. Demi shakily offers her left hand to Selena.

Selena's careful and rough at the same time as she pulls off Demi's bracelets. She's just so angry, but in this totally calm way that makes Demi want to crawl under a rock and hide there until Selena forgets that this ever happened. Selena sets the last of the bracelets on the sink and looks in Demi's eyes as she turns her wrist over. Demi's shaking everywhere now and all she wants to do is throw up or cry or scream when Selena slowly turns her hand over to look at her wrist.

Demi decides that what she really wants to do is just die when she sees Selena's eyes water and she can feel Selena start to shake, too.

"I'm sorry." She says. Her voice cracks so bad and her words come out in such a mangled mess that she doubts Selena would have understood her if she did hear her, but Selena's mind is totally focused on the long, jagged red line across her wrist.

"Why didn't you just call me?" She asks, pulling Demi's hand closer to her stomach.

"I couldn't." It's sort of the truth. She could have just picked up the phone, dialed Selena's number and been like "Hey, you wanna come over? I feel like cutting myself for kissing you." but she couldn't. She couldn't tell Selena that she felt like she was going to die if she ever lost her because it would have made her sound like the biggest attention seeker in the world. Even if Selena would have never thought that. She just couldn't. But Selena understands, because Demi's always been insecure about that sort of thing and she nods, no matter how much she hates it.

Selena's thumb traces the skin at least half an inch away from the cut, but it's not far enough away and Demi hisses. Selena takes her hand back like _she's_ the one whose been burned and looks up at Demi with sad eyes.

"I'm sorry." She doesn't mean for getting too close to the cut, but she's sorry for that, too. "I'm so sorry, Demi."

"It's okay." Demi says it easily because it _should_ be okay. She shouldn't have kissed Selena. It's not like it's her fault.

And even if it was, Demi would forgive her anyways.

Selena releases Demi's wrist and lifts Demi's shirt up just enough to put her hands on the bare skin above Demi's hips. Demi's shaking again, in a totally different way that she thinks she likes more, when Selena pulls her so close that she swears she can hear Selena's heartbeat. Selena leans her forehead against Demi's and reaches up with one hand to move her hair out of her face. Demi can't breathe anymore.

Selena cups her cheeks and leans in just enough to brush her lips against Demi's, soft and scared like she's asking if it's okay. Demi clings to Selena's shoulders and presses her hips into Selena's to let her know that it's _beyond_ okay. Selena kisses her in this slow, intense way that leaves her gasping for breath with Selena pulls back just enough to look at her.

Demi's stopped shaking now and she's never been so calm and happy before at the same time. She just leans her forehead against Selena's, bumps their noses together and closes her eyes. She feels Selena chuckle and Demi never knew how great it was to feel Selena's chest to vibrate against her own.

"You okay?" Selena whispers against her lips and Demi smiles, balls the fabric of Selena's shirt in her fists and hums.

"Yeah." She takes a deep breath and opens her eyes to look at Selena. Looking into her eyes when they're this close makes her dizzy and she's never felt anything better. "I'm good."


End file.
